Individuality and group thinking

(By Henry Cloud, from a Facebook post)

Great discussion with a board chairman today about the tendency of small groups of people (like a board, or other teams) to get into a kind of "group think" where individuality of opinion is lost. We have a tendency to kind of "go along," if a few people are thinking in a certain way, especially if they are "strong" personalities or have a position of authority.

But....we each have been created with a brain, experiences and abilities that we bring that are valuable to add to the conversation. That is the reason there is a group! But the power of the group can sweep us up and we lose our separateness.

I was thinking also of how this can happen in other relationships, where someone does not feel enough safety or permission, sometimes even inside, to just say an opinion. Over time, a person can lose themselves by not speaking up.

Think of places where you might not show up with your opinions or thoughts. In a work team? A friendship? A spiritual relationship? A close relationship? Ask yourself why not? If your first thought is "because they......" then get back in touch with your individuality and brains, and show up. They need your opinion!

Also, at some time other than the scary discussion, talk about the issue itself. Say, "sometimes when we discuss things, I find myself not saying what I really think or believe or feel because I am afraid of your reaction. I would like to talk about how to feel more free to just say things to each other (or in this team)."

Good things can happen when you begin to talk!